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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Ohhh, my friend, lemme tell you 'bout Rayleigh, UK, ya know? It's a quirky little town that punches ya right in the soul. Lightbulb! First off, there's Rayleigh town centre – it's compact, chill and kinda lively. You got your busy streets like West Street and the old Market Place where vendors shout deals all day.

Rayleigh: Shoplifter jailed for 23 months